Graduation Day Part 1

Hai , I'm here after 6 months . How do you do guys ? I'm doing great and freaked out that there only #17 days left before STP and one weeks left before school holidays and one weeks left before everyone leave and achieve their dreams . Kinda feel sad and heartbreaking just thinks about saying farewell to bestfriends, classmates , teachers , close friends , juniors , mak cik's canteen , kakak koperasi , and school . This time I gonna miss school , I mean really really miss it cause this is the last I wear school uniforms sob sob sob .

Wohoo I finally graduated . Im high school graduate . The Graduation Day was held on 20th October and it was super duper awesome . It some how feel like we are going to prom night with our dates hahaha so funny . we dressed up and trying looking good , have good time , eats steamboat , laughing with friends , teachers , chit cahting . Oh god how come I wont miss this :(

Depressed

'' I hate myself  for being so pathetic , I hate myself for being too weak , I hate myself for let people try to bring me down , I hate myself for looking so pathetic in other people eyes , I hate myself for being ugly , I hate myself for being too kind ,I hate myself for not getting over the past ,I hate myself that live in memories ,I hate myself for longing for that person who never love me back , I hate myself for letting people to be part of my world , I hate myself from touching certain people that marks a scars on my hands , I hate myself from loving certain people that marks a scars on my heart and I hate myself for being myself ''

Moving on

I'm not doing okay lately . It's tough weeks for me . It's quite hard to deal with people nowadays . I saw many fuck people who fucking pretend like they care about me . I deal with fuck people who always leave a big scars on my heart . 


I feel everybody hates me . Suddenly I can't stop crying , my heart aches so badly , the tears won't stop from falling , the scars on my heart is not going to healed and I think to much till my head want to explode . 


I'm constantly miserable . I want to run away , run from this mess , run from this faked people . You know how it feels when you love someone but the leave you , you know how it feels when you treat people nicely , but they talking about you .  


I've been hurt so many times till I rather live alone in my own imagination and doing my own things and I will care about is my own self . No one can hurt me .

 I just need to '' move on '' , I'm proud of myself for being strong to facing all this , alone .

I'm A L I V E

Don't worry I'm still alive . Still attend school for the sake of my future . Now everything get back to normal eventhough I was left with a broken heart . So I force my lips to put on a '' smile '' a beautiful smile so people won't notice the pain is killing me from the inside . 

I choose not depend on anybody else, I actually learn something form it, I've learn to be independent. 

Sawadikap .

Assalamualaikum and hello guys . Anybody miss me ? auww so sweet I miss you olz too . Gonna blog about my trip to Hat Yai trip . Me went to Siam shopping center everyday . Did't miss all single minutes . I love my hotel , in front of it is shopping mall . So cool . I went there with my mom . We do some window shopping due to tiredness . 

'' mom can we go to KOREA ? '' I should save money NO NO I MUST save money .

I love you so I turned off the TV

Tomorrow is V day . You know what I'm talking about . As a muslim I did't celebrate it . Who cares about it too . Mom said '' we should express our feeling by telling everyone I LOVE YOU everyday so they knew how important they're to us ''  and the day after tomorrow is me and panda ______________ hehehehehe . 


 I miss him so much . It have been 3 months I guess after I saw him on hospital with his legs upup ( here we go ) to the sky . Poor him , lucky that he did't die . I miss him everyday almost every minutes . He is the most understand boypreen ever . Seriously I'm not that open about my relationship . I did't post more about him unless I miss him so much . He don't get upset easily . If I don't reply his message he'll wish me goodnight instead cause he knew I fall asleep already . He like to praise me . I know I'm cuteeeeeewwww hehehehehe . We like to make fun of each other . We almost have a fight but we mange to cancel it hahaha . err I menat prevent it .


Dear , Panda 


You're a panda/ buah hati / boy / friend / bestfriends / boyfie to me . Thank you for always being here when I always need you by my side . You always cheer me up with your silly thing . Sometimes you're so ridiculous , you always trying to make me mad at you but I know you love me . I know I'm not the best girlfriends in the world . How unlucky your are kehkehkeh . But I'm pretty right ? . You always compliment me and I loikeeee it seriously I like it . Who going to do the '' puji-puji'' things if it's not you right ? 


I don't know why you like me ? I'm ugly but grateful to Allah . I have bad personality and attitudes . I love to eat meat and love to sleep . I love to take pictures and mms it immediately to you . I love to tease you and make fun of you . I always give you '' tebu '' when you acting sweet . I always secretive about my personal life when you're so open about yours . I love gary more than you but you don't mind . I like to '' puji '' other guys infront of you but you never jealous . I always wrote a love letter to you and you really like it and I don't remember your birthday but you remember mine . I'm worst gelpren ever aite ? 
   

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away

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Random # 2

Jika engkau minta intan permata tak mungkin ku mampu
Tapi sayangkan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu
Jika engkau minta satu dunia akan aku coba
Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu pastikan kau bahagia

p/ s : sorry for the '' gedikss '' tone . I apologies on my behalf .

  

Saya , Kawan dan sekolah

Assalamualaikum and hello guys . Harini hari rajin sedunia jadi rajin nak update blog . Happy February , can't believe it's February now . Jadi sekolah sangat ohsem , saya rasa . Jadual harian saya sama sahaja , semuanya sama .

Saya hari-hari pergi sekolah

Saya hari-hari datang lambat

Saya hari-hari belajar

Saya hari-hari bawak beg kesayangan saya

Saya hari-hari makan menu yang sama

Saya hari-hari beli air '' lemon tea ''

Saya hari-hari kena turun naik tangga

Saya hari-hari duduk depan sekali 

Saya hari-hari bercakap dengan '' Megat Abdul Rahman '' 

Saya hari-hari bersembang dengan kawan saya

Saya hari-hari banyak homework

Saya hari-hari tengok boypreen saya

Saya hari-hari jumpa kekasih hati saya 

Saya hari-hari jumpa kesayangan saya 

Saya hari-hari rasa saya comey 


Dan


Saya hari-hari gembira sebab saya jadi diri saya sendiri 

p / s : rindu orang tu maksud saya semua kawan-kawan saya .

Different

Bila kita meluahkan apa yang terpendam di dalam hati
Akan ada yang terluka


Bila kita memberi pendapat tentang sesuatu perkara
Akan ada yang terguris hati 


Bila kita menulis apa yang terbuku di fikiran
Akan ada yang menangis


Bila kita menjadi diri sendiri
Akan ada yang menyindir


Bila kita melakukan kesalahan
Akan ada yang mengingatinya seumur hidup


Bila kita gembira
Akan ada yang cemburu


Bila kita bersedih
Akan ada yang bergembira 


Manusia memang sebegitu rupa .
Mempunyai pelbagai watak dan personaliti
Ada yang baik , jahat , ikhlas dan sebagainya 
Dan ada juga yang tidak suka melihat kebahagiaan orang lain .

'' kita kena bangga jadi diri sendiri baru nampak hebat , baru tak plastik '' -nyot

Kita dah tersukaaa kat dia la , cano ni ?

Cinderella Diary

Nama kita nurul aqilah

Nama femes '' qiqi ''
Nama kacuk ''ah qiqi''
Tapi kita suka orang panggil kita '' Cinderella '' sebab kita rajin .


Kita seorang budak , seorang gadis , seorang perempuan .
Umur kita 18 tahun 3 bulan 
Bulan 10 ni cukup la 19 tahun


Kitakan hari-hari mandi lama-lama
Kitakan hari-hari datang sekolah lambat
Kitakan hari-hari kena tolong ketua kita
Kitakan hari-hari kena buat homework
Kitakan hari-hari kena bawak buku banyak-banyak
Kitakan hari-hari turun naik tangga
Kitakan hari-hari kena makan makanan yang sama kat kantin
Kitakan hari-hari kena jumpa orang yang tak suka kita
Kitakan hari-hari kena pergi sekolah


Tahukan kalian kita tak suka pergi sekolah
Tahukah kalian kita sedih bila ada orang yang tak suka kita
Tahukah kalian kita menagis dalam bilik air sebab ada orang kutuk kita
Tahukah kalian kita ni seorang yang sangat insecure
Tahukah kalian kita kadang-kadang rasa diri kita ni bodoh
Tahukah kalian kita kadang-kadang benci dengan diri sendiri
Tahukah kalian kita kadang-kadang rasa tak bersyukur atas nikmat yang allah bagi kat kita
Tahukah kalian 
Tahukah ?


Yang kita mengalami konflik dengan diri sendiri , dengan hati , dengan perasaan . Tahukah ?

Boypreen baru kita hehehe .

The feelings

There's something about feelings that scares my guts out.
The feeling of having regrets.
The feeling of hating yourself.
The feeling of having doubt about yourself .
The feeling of knowing that you're not good enough.
The feeling of having insecurity .
The feeling  afraid loosing someone you love
The feeling  afraid being hated by anyone .
The feeling afraid being alone .
The feeling afraid being abandoned 
The feeling afraid being hurting by someone
The feeling afraid  of someone talking shit about you
The feeling afraid to be in love
The feeling afraid to express your emotion
The feeling afraid to let go something /someone that I love 

Letter to my future husband # 3

Dear '' suamiku , hubby , sayang , darling , buah hati , chagiah , honey , abeku '' .

Bila awak bace ni umur saya dah 18 tahun 3 bulan . Awak takkan terkejutkan macam awak baca surat-surat yang lepas Letter no 1 , letter no 2 hehehe.Saya menulis surat ni dalam keadaan romatik sambil dengar lagu '' you're so beautiful '' 


Semua orang sebelum berkahwin mestila melamar kekasih hati kan kan ? Nanti kalau awak nak melamar saya :

1. boleh tak awak pakai baju kotak-kotak ? pastu pakai kasut converse ?
2. kalau boleh saya nak awak nyanyi sambil main guitar kat saya 
3. kalau awak pakai coat sambil menari pun lagi boleh
4. kalau awak tulis kat kertas cakap '' My dear qiqi yang comey , will you marry me ? '' lagi cun melcun hahah
5. kalau awak nak menari tango pastu propose saya pun boleh
6. propose kat garden
7. kalau awak buat video macam nabil pun lagi okay
8. propose atas ferris wheel 
9. propose atas hot air balloon
10. propose depan rumah saya 

kalau dapat salah satu number kat atas ni pun saya dah cukup happy . Sebab semuanya impian saya . Impian cara lelaki idaman melamar saya hahaha . Bakal suami saya tahu saya ni gedik , banyak songgeh la , ape la tapi saya nak awak tahu yang ni cuma angan angan saya je ♥♥♥

My very first time

Assalamualaikum and hello guys . 
Fuhh penat giler hari ini !! Balik sekolah pergi post office nak renew lessen . Pergi-pergi tengok duit tak cukup 2 kali la ulang alik balik rumah , dah la tunggu lama . Orang ramai hari ini maklumlah hari Isnin memang padat dengan orang .


Pagi tadi lambat kesekolah lagi . Konon harini nak datang awal , azam baru hehehe tapi sama jugak datang lambat . Minggu lepas 3 hari berturut-turut datang lambat . Oh yeahh pelajar contoh ma . 


Hari Pertama : Ah panda mana ? rindu panda :/
Hari Kedua : Panda Panda Kita rindu kamu :/
Hari ketiga : Rindu Rindu Panda :/
Hari Ini : Sabar sabar Cinderella nanti Panda datang :/


Tak pe tak pe , kita kan kuat mana boleh rindu panda . Jatuh la saham kita . Panda kita dia tak rindu kita , eleh dia berlakon jeteww . Dia kan drama king hahaha . 

Kita nak tunjuk ni 

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Video tuto pertama kita . Ah malu * lari dalam bilik amik seobeom * Kita bukan nak tunjuk bajet buat video tak semena-mena . Kita buat sebab kawan kita punya adik mintak tolong tunjukkan cara kita pakai shawl macam ini 

XOXO: Cinderella girl

Hell O

Assalamualaikum , alhamdulilah I'm still alive . School is fineee I guess . Nothing much just mooo here mooo there hehehe . And I was appointed as assistant of class president . My very first time , I was so shy to give salam to guru and I will try to be a better assistant . 

Kekasih Gelap

Kita ada kekasih 
Tapi dia kekasih gelap
Orang yang kita sayang
Dia baik 
Peramah , caring , tak sombong
Dia selalu wall to wall dengan kita
Selalu tweet tweet
Selalu text 
Call je tak pernah lagi

Kekasih gelap kita seorang yang kuat
Dia kalau ada masalah mesti bagitahu kita
Dan dia tak malu nak luahkan perasaan dia
Kita pun macam tu jugak
Kita rasa selesa dengan dia


Kita kenal dia kat facebook
Tapi mula berkawan kat twitter
Lama-lama tukar no phone
Dan sekarang selalu text 
Dia lah orang kedua yang kita pernah bagi number phone setakat ini di alam maya
Dan dia pun tak segan silu nak berkawan dengan kita


Kami ada nama manja
Dia panggil kita romeo
Kita panggil dai juliet
Jangan nak tiru okay ? hehehe


Dia ialah kawan baru
Dia ialah teman baru
Dia ialah kekasih gelapku
Dia ialah Alin  Farzana Azzeni

 

sama tak ? hehehe 

Dear kekasih gelap

Thank you sebab sudi jadi kawan kita . Juliet la orang kedua yang kita bagi number phone di alam maya ini . Juliet tak kisah kawan dengan kita walaupun tahu yang kita ni tua 2 tahun dia juliet . Ramai yang bila dah tahu umur kita terus tak nak kawan , tapi juliet lain .Juliet tak kisa pasal umur kita hehehe thank you juliet . Kita harap kita berdua friends forever okay ? and one day I gonna meet you . Tunggu okay . Hehehe .