Graduation Day Part 1

Hai , I'm here after 6 months . How do you do guys ? I'm doing great and freaked out that there only #17 days left before STP and one weeks left before school holidays and one weeks left before everyone leave and achieve their dreams . Kinda feel sad and heartbreaking just thinks about saying farewell to bestfriends, classmates , teachers , close friends , juniors , mak cik's canteen , kakak koperasi , and school . This time I gonna miss school , I mean really really miss it cause this is the last I wear school uniforms sob sob sob .

Wohoo I finally graduated . Im high school graduate . The Graduation Day was held on 20th October and it was super duper awesome . It some how feel like we are going to prom night with our dates hahaha so funny . we dressed up and trying looking good , have good time , eats steamboat , laughing with friends , teachers , chit cahting . Oh god how come I wont miss this :(

Depressed

'' I hate myself  for being so pathetic , I hate myself for being too weak , I hate myself for let people try to bring me down , I hate myself for looking so pathetic in other people eyes , I hate myself for being ugly , I hate myself for being too kind ,I hate myself for not getting over the past ,I hate myself that live in memories ,I hate myself for longing for that person who never love me back , I hate myself for letting people to be part of my world , I hate myself from touching certain people that marks a scars on my hands , I hate myself from loving certain people that marks a scars on my heart and I hate myself for being myself ''

Moving on

I'm not doing okay lately . It's tough weeks for me . It's quite hard to deal with people nowadays . I saw many fuck people who fucking pretend like they care about me . I deal with fuck people who always leave a big scars on my heart . 


I feel everybody hates me . Suddenly I can't stop crying , my heart aches so badly , the tears won't stop from falling , the scars on my heart is not going to healed and I think to much till my head want to explode . 


I'm constantly miserable . I want to run away , run from this mess , run from this faked people . You know how it feels when you love someone but the leave you , you know how it feels when you treat people nicely , but they talking about you .  


I've been hurt so many times till I rather live alone in my own imagination and doing my own things and I will care about is my own self . No one can hurt me .

 I just need to '' move on '' , I'm proud of myself for being strong to facing all this , alone .

I'm A L I V E

Don't worry I'm still alive . Still attend school for the sake of my future . Now everything get back to normal eventhough I was left with a broken heart . So I force my lips to put on a '' smile '' a beautiful smile so people won't notice the pain is killing me from the inside . 

I choose not depend on anybody else, I actually learn something form it, I've learn to be independent.